The three ways to lie......

Telling an untruth

Not telling all the truth

Statistics

Invisible me

Bike riders share the road with scary, large, metal, rolling objects. A rider must never assume the pilot of these vehicles have a scrap of sanity.

Since August I have road my bike to and from work multiple times each week. My discovery has been that the worst time to ride is early in the AM with rain soaked streets. I think it has to do with the reflections coupled with caffeine not yet taking a hold.

My bike has various safety accoutrement's that, hopefully, provide safeguards. The human senses (all six in this case), are much more reliable. I have experienced a fellow commuter wave at me, at a stoplight. No doubt happy to see someone pedaling for some reason. Only to cut me off at the next turn, speeding up to do so.

Aside from the rainy day invisibility, I have also uncovered:

Stop lights mean right turning cars want to run you over. Running a red light at appropriate times is key to survival.

Vehicles exiting a parking lot will start moving when you commit to crossing their path.

Someone waving you to ride in front of them, are psychopathic (especially if they stop in when there is a no traffic control signals present.

The sidewalk is your friend as the curb seems to represent an impassible bluff to motorists.

Eye contact means nothing.

If your suicidal, wear an i-pod...

Terribly trite

I have this perception, being an adult means taking responsibility for your choices.

Before you take credit for something, you may want to consider what those around you know. If they are aware that you had only cursory involvement, your braggadocio will put you in a bad light. As it is most bragging should be kept to a minimum. As your arm will get tired from that back-patting and that first round of "good job" is all your really deserve.

Paraphrasing a quote I heared someplace, by someone. Credit given that is knowingly not deserved equals satire.

Sounderwordisms.

Once upon a time I noted that sugar does not have an H, yet is pronounced as such. So I took to pronouncing it as Sue-gar. Just because it appealed to my sense of humor, I guess I could say it was my rebeller nature of not bowing the THE MAN. But, really it just tickles my fancy.

Along the weary road I travel there have been several such pronunciations that I have mangled to my dastardly purposes as well. Just as there are words my family has developed as well as inherited.

For instance the rubber spatula used to scrape bowls was commonly referred to as Kiddie-Cheater, when I grew up. Whipped desert topping is Fru-fru.

The Parmesan cheese that you purchase for dumping onto Italianish food is Shakey-Cheese. Something that Connor coined and Diana's Girl Scout troop adopted. So it is in the wild...

One of our family favorite internet cartoons, Strong Bad, gave us the phrase "No-Probalo" and "I aprekiate it"

A sieve in our house is called the Germanic Siep (read Zeep).

Some Cowboys from Calgary provided me with the wonderful phase "Usta-could." And the equally useful elimination of answer choices "Yes-No?" Added to the end of a question?

"So if I take that road I will make it to Sutherlin, Yes-No?"

"Usta-could, now its a dead end at the river."

Marvelous!

My kids had equally interesting pronunciations for the name Tobias (toby-us) and ambulance (am-bue-lense), and the colonel (Col-o-nell).

Some time ago I noted that wife, could be mis-pronounced weef. Without a thought to correctness last night, I introduced Tina to a co-worker using my dialect. Tina corrected me and the co-worker found it cute.

I'm sure every family has unique sounderwordisms like this. I am not sure they all have as much fun with them.

I hate exercising but I love exercise.

I hate exercising but I love exercise.

Five days a week I start the morning with 20 hindu pushups. Even with regular sets I find that increasing the number is a challenge. In my mind I would like to do 50 per set.

Next exercise I like to call, riding my bike to work. I have two hill climbs that required me to get off the bike and walk initially. Now the first one gets my cardio up and I can cruise up without down shifting from my initial hill climb gear (front 2 and back 4). The next hill is more taxing a 4% grade for a half mile. I need to down-shift, the same amount but later in the climb. My goal is to keep consistent pedaling speed. This really targets my glutes, which I feel protest near the top. For the rest of the trip to work it is pretty much a rolling uphill and downhill course.

At work the exercise changes day to day. Most of the time it consists of 7.5 hours standing and walking with an occasional short running and lifting of an object up to 200 pounds. Sometimes there is a four hour period of lifting and pulling heavy objects.

Followed by a ride home that has another two hill climbs (or a longer route and one less climb).

Once a week I like to spend skating. This is for around 60 to 90 minutes and involves a surprisingly large amount of muscle groups.

When I go to a gym I find myself unmotivated and bored quickly. If I have someone with me I do better. Still, it is way down on my list of things I want to do. I think it is the open ended nature and a feeling that I am actually preparing myself for... well... nothing...

There is a lot of satisfaction with my current exercises. Every gas station I ride by gives me a little thrill that my money is staying away. Even the colder mornings now are more bracing then miserable. I am wondering about the occasional icy morning.

Status per Employment

Now a catchup of sorts.

I spent a year unemployed. It sucked because I figured I would get a new job in a short period of time. When I realized it might take longer then expected and decided to go to school. I was unable to get the classes I wanted and then got a job at the library.

The Library seemed promising as several of the employees get moved up to the County tech department. Of course economic downturn happened and the c0unty downsized and outsourced and slashed budgets.

I got cut back to 34 hours a week. We tightened the budget and I kept my eye for any County Openings. As they decided not to replace person after person it was ever so much more obvious that County Government was not a career option.

So July this year I was slashed to 20 hours a week. Which means we get tol slowly spiral into financial ruin. Whee!

I had applied to various jobs all along the way. With the way things are now, 20% unemployment, any job gets tons of resumes and most HR departments do not even send out a response. I did land one interview and it looked promising, nothing ever came of it though...

We finally got a Costco coming to town. I put in an application and waited. They promised good jobs at good wages. With not much else in town, why not? It would be nice to work hourly again. It would be nice to work full time again. (nice in the paycheck sense).

The newspaper ran a story about the 100 jobs and 3000 applications. This was not encouraging, even after I got the call for interview. As per typically, I interview very well. I got through the first two rounds with charm, wit and confidence. Getting a call back for the third interview was very welcome indeed. By this time over 4200 applications and well over 2000 interviews had taken place.

From the cool hallway at the national guard outpost building I sat awaiting my turn. I was bemused by a passing train with thoughts of how annoying it would be to be stationed here. As my name was called I did the typical meaningful stride with firm handshake and introduction

Interviews are something I actually enjoy doing. Assuming the interviewee is not just reading from a script. You have about ten to fifteen minutes to show why your the best thing that will ever happen to that company. Steering the conversations towards your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses means you have to have an idea what your strengths are and an idea on how to spin your weaknesses. I have been accused of being a fast thinker, this serves me well.

Let me just say that I was offered and accepted the job. Success!

My interviewee was the assistant manager at Costco and I could tell he had put in his time. He did have a few scripted questions but they went to the side as he pursued his own. I figured my strong suit would be in selling electronics. At Costco this department is called Major Sales, it also includes jewelry (I found this out at the earlier interview). I had gone to several websites and familiarized myself with some basic cuts and settings as well as going to costco.com and perusing the catalog.

I felt very good about the rapport. Then I hit a bit of a snag. I usually carry all my application information on a clipboard. In this case I had left it at home. The interviewer asked me for a couple of reference phone numbers. He let me borrow his phone. Diana, my daughter picked up. Tina was out shopping and so I related what I needed and how to get it, Diana is quite savvy and in short order had the information and I jotted it down. The interviewer remarked "That was some excellent communication, precise and succinct."

What an excellent ending note!

Unrest

I get in a state of non-relaxation. I sit down I feel the need to get up and do something. The somethings are usually trivial things that have no long term effect. Folding the kitchen towels and hanging them over the oven handle.

Absolutely absolute.

According to Hobbes, there are nineteen Natural Laws.

• The first Law of nature is that every man ought to endeavour peace, as far as he has hope of obtaining it; and when he cannot obtain it, that he may seek and use all helps and advantages of war.
• The second Law of nature is that a man be willing, when others are so too, as far forth, as for peace, and defence of himself he shall think it necessary, to lay down this right to all things; and be contented with so much liberty against other men, as he would allow other men against himself.
• The third Law is that men perform their covenants made. In this law of nature consisteth the fountain and original of justice... when a covenant is made, then to break it is unjust and the definition of injustice is no other than the not performance of covenant. And whatsoever is not unjust is just.
• The fourth Law is that a man which receiveth benefit from another of mere grace, endeavour that he which giveth it, have no reasonable cause to repent him of his good will. Breach of this law is called ingratitude.
• The fifth Law is complaisance: that every man strive to accommodate himself to the rest. The observers of this law may be called sociable; the contrary, stubborn, insociable, froward, intractable.
• The sixth Law is that upon caution of the future time, a man ought to pardon the offences past of them that repenting, desire it.
• The seventh Law is that in revenges, men look not at the greatness of the evil past, but the greatness of the good to follow.
• The eighth Law is that no man by deed, word, countenance, or gesture, declare hatred or contempt of another. The breach of which law is commonly called contumely.
• The ninth Law is that every man acknowledge another for his equal by nature. The breach of this precept is pride.
• The tenth law is that at the entrance into the conditions of peace, no man require to reserve to himself any right, which he is not content should be reserved to every one of the rest. The breach of this precept is arrogance, and observers of the precept are called modest.
• The eleventh law is that if a man be trusted to judge between man and man, that he deal equally between them.
• The twelfth law is that such things as cannot be divided, be enjoyed in common, if it can be; and if the quantity of the thing permit, without stint; otherwise proportionably to the number of them that have right.
• The thirteenth law is the entire right, or else...the first possession (in the case of alternating use), of a thing that can neither be divided nor enjoyed in common should be determined by lottery.
• The fourteenth law is that those things which cannot be enjoyed in common, nor divided, ought to be adjudged to the first possessor; and in some cases to the first born, as acquired by lot.
• The fifteenth law is that all men that mediate peace be allowed safe conduct.
• The sixteenth law is that they that are at controversie, submit their Right to the judgement of an Arbitrator.
• The seventeenth law is that no man is a fit Arbitrator in his own cause.
• The eighteenth law is that no man should serve as a judge in a case if greater profit, or honour, or pleasure apparently ariseth [for him] out of the victory of one party, than of the other.
• The nineteenth law is that in a disagreement of fact, the judge should not give more weight to the testimony of one party than another, and absent other evidence, should give credit to the testimony of other witnesses.

Fleet of Feet

As a new hobby, running has become much more interesting to me. It started with a book and hurt feet. Now a five mile run is just something to do.

I have experimented with breathing rhythmics, gait, stride, foot landing, gravity and speed.

You Just Might Be Canadian If...

You bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don't miss Hockey Night.

You can repeat the entire Molson's Canadian 'The Rant'.

You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.

You know that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) don't always look like that.

You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.

You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean.

You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the Hinterland Who's Who spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.

You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

You think Great Big Sea isn't Atlantic-centric enough.

You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.

You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.

You think Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.

You remember "Jodie" from Today's Special and wonder why you keep seeing her reading news on the CBC.

You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

You think -10 C is mild weather.

You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.

You know the ingredients for poutine.

You know what happens in the Evergreen Forest when Bert Raccoon wakes up.

You dressed as Bruno Gerussi for Halloween. You spent hours sifting through garbage on the beach to prepare for the role.

You know that the 'Extra Creamy' in Kraft Extra Creamy Dinner is 'add more milk.'

You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films.

Someone accidentally stepped on your foot. You apologize.

You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.

You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".

Your Saturday nights in the Atlantic provinces include eating beans and brown bread as you watch Hockey Night in Canada.

You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.

You know that, contrary to general belief, the Inuit have about the same amount of words for snow as do English speakers. Your favourite Inuit word for 'snow' is "navcaq" (snow formation about to collapse).

You wonder why squirrels and seagulls somehow manage to get in every zoo exhibit (including the parking lot and squirrel and seagull exhibits).

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

You only know three spices: Salt, pepper and ketchup.

You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

You brag to Americans: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & more, are Canadians.

You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

You live in a house with no front step, but the door is one meter up from the ground.

Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road work/construction.

You know that when it's -10 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."

You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"

You call it a BUN not a "Roll".

Its called a WASHROOM not a lavatory or powder room or rest room.

You have more kilometers on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make for good toilet paper.

The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a freezer.

You attend a formal in your best clothes, your finest jeweler and your Sorrels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

National Anthem Fail

I can fully understand someone who is an amateur performer choking during the performance of the National Anthem at a major sporting event. If I was in charge of said event I would have a back up ready.

What I do not get is when a professional entertainer fails at this venue.

Twirling

The question came up as to my being conservative or not. To which I say "sure, why not". Liberal, to me, is derogatory anyways...

The question becomes what is a Conservative, who defines the term and how tightly do you have to follow that definition?

Last day of school

I admit I am feeling a bit left out. Today was Tina's last day at work (School District). Diana and Trevor are now done with this segment of schooling and it is Connors last day at Jr. High.

Which means everyone is on summer break, except for me.

Although, I would like to be pondering acceptance of a new job, but alas...

No call yet. All prayers and intercessions accepted...

Figuring

So I have an interview on Monday and I am leaving on Vacation next weekend. It is the visit-in-laws, trip\vacation. Tina has a hurt shoulder that is in need of a treatment.

However, because it was a work injury she cannot get it treated or diagnosed. Not until the worker insurance collective says yes or no. Here is my rule, unless your hurt on the job in front of witnesses and need immediate assistance NEVER go with the workman's claim. It just delays and delays and delays treatment and jacks you up on pain meds.

If only Obamacare was working we would have gotten free fast quality healthcare! *cough*

So now we have a trip planned that may or may not interfere with my getting a job. Or Tina getting some treatment.

So here is what my fondest hope: Monday, Tina gets an up or down vote from SAIF, they get her in the MRI that day and interpret the results on Tuesday. Wednesday they figure out some treatment that helps. I nail the interview and get a job offer and they want me to start on July 5th.

Too optimistic?

Political Theater.

Freedom Eden has a great Ann Coulter write up.

Every-time I hear the equivalent someone shouting, "there ought to be law!" I ponder, isn't there already a law?

When was the last time you the term "Knee Jerk Reaction" was commonly used? BP has an oil spill and Barry says "there ought to be a law!" Yet, this was an inspected platform that received high marks.

"Oh you got to understand that the inspectors were all corrupt!" So we learn that government employees are corruptible... So the laws they want to enact will rely upon corruptible government peoples? How stupid is that?

Exactly what responsibility does the Government have, if they approve some oil rig? If you want to get life insurance (and really who doesn't??) There is a process in which they send out a doctor to take gobs of blood and give you a basic checkup. Next they get your medical records and go through them carefully to see how much risk you are at for what reason.

If you fall over dead later that year, they have to pay out and absorb the revenue loss for some time to come. In other words, they have a vested interest in making sure your health is vetted.

Does BP have Oil Spill insurance?

Geebus!

Q: Who's idea was it to drill for oil six miles down?

A: Environmentalists.

Connors World

(As stated before in my notes, Connor is my 12 year old son who has Autism.)

We have been informed of our travel plans this summer. The declaration was put forth by our 12 year old, stated in no-nonsense terms. This is what will happen...

School ends June 10th. Then we pack the suitcase, and drive to hotel called Holiday inn. We put on swim suits and swim in the pool, go to sleep. Then have waffles and drive north to Canada.

Pretty straightforward right? It does actually fit pretty well with what we are going to do, with good reason. Connor likes for things to be static, ritualistic if you will. He does not handle change. Everyone has different ways of dealing with ambiguity, some better then others. Connor has been able to see and be comforted by finding the static within the change.

He is adaptive in his reasoning. If we go to a Quality Inn, instead of Holiday Inn, he will accept the difference, because he can see that it is still a hotel. Now if the hotel does not have a pool or the waffle maker breakfast. Things are going to begin to get dicey. Yes, we can work him through the situation and he will emerge from the other side. The thing is this, we will probably have to help him through other things, so why not accommodate what we can, as it provides him a degree of comfort and control.

Communication is something most people overlook when it comes to kids. Imagine someone obviously hurting and crying. This person is not able to relate the problem. It could be physical, it could be mental, it could be emotional. As a parent it is paramount to help and without the knowing what is wrong, the knowing how to help, is nigh impossible. It can be heart wrenching. It is...

When Connor can relate to us something like vacation plans. We engage the communication fully. We will make corrections to his expectations. We have also, purposefully, altered plans in order to teach him he can deal with ambiguity. So when unforeseen events occur he has those skills.

No one is crazy about change. The more draconian the more we push back. It is our nature. Yet, our environment is one of near constant change. I suppose the human condition is one of conflict.

Spilling Oil

For the longest time I wondered why the US pays top dollar to another country for oil. Oil production is messy and hazardous, how fair is it that we impose our oil buying will on others?

Then we get this oil spill off the Gulf, which is a horrible thing that needs to be stopped and cleaned up. British Petroleum being the operators have been working to stem the flow. So far they have not been able too. As I am reading I came across this "Since January 2005, inspectors issued just one minor infraction for the rig. That strong track record led the agency last year (2009) to herald the Deepwater Horizon as an industry model for safety". Then it blew up??!!

Then I read about the herculean efforts being made to stem the leakage. This boom being lowered the 6.6 miles down to cap and siphon off the oil. Around 1/5th of the leak... Which begs the question, why drill 6.6 miles when we have access in much, MUCH shallower water? Of course it is the government regulations and the environmentalist mindset that makes it nigh impossible to provide our own oil for our own use.

The MSM is reporting doom story after doom story. Typically focusing on the worst case scenario. Although, some are reporting on where the disaster actually is located. Many invoking the Exxon Valdez proportions.

Which brought to my mind the reports that the ocean is self cleaning. And the technology for mitigation is impressive as well.

Booms -- Floating barriers placed around the oil or around whatever is leaking the oil.

Skimmers -- Boats, vacuum machines, and oil-absorbent plastic ropes that skim spilled oil from the water's surface after booms have it corralled.

Chemical dispersants -- Materials that break down the oil into its chemical constituents. This helps disperse the oil and make it less harmful to wildlife and shorelines.

Yes its bad, its location makes it worse. It is a good that they are trying to mitigate. Lets hope they get containment and cleanup done quickly.

Birthers and other conspiracy.

For quite some time I have been wondering as to why Barry Obama would not just produce evidence that he was born in Hawaii and stop the nonsense.

Then I realized that in dealing with theorists no evidence will suffice. Like the JFK assassination, the 9/11 disaster, Man Made Global Warming, Area 51, Over-population, Crop Circles, Uri Geller, etc. People are going to believe how they want.

Hands raised if you drank from any conspiracy kool-aid in the past. Mine is right there with you.

Case in point: Barry's Birth announcement was in two separate papers when he was born. These are released by the hospital to the newspapers.

However, the reaction to the above information is that the papers were faked. Or they smuggled the baby into Hawaii and pretended he was born and released that announcement to two papers. Because they knew in advance that this child was to become a President...

So you could produce the doctor, nurses, film, birth announcements, quantify them beyond a reasonable doubt and your theorists would still "Demand further evidence"

“A lot of people run to see who's the fastest. I run to see who has the most guts.” ~Prefontaine

I have been recovering from a 10k. The day after, walking was difficult and painful. My calf muscles were strained. I figure it is due to a lack of conditioning (running four 10 min jaunts does not prepare you for a 10K), and I have not yet gotten all the nuances of forefoot running.

Ice, ibuprofen, elevation and some mild stretching and NO running or walking long has helped quite a bit. Today I walked home after church. It is a 2.5 mile. As for the nuances, I have been pouring over various forums of known barefoot runners and Pose runners. Barefoot Ted insists that the best way to learn to run is to go barefooted prior to any minimalist shoes. You cannot run incorrectly, your feet will not let you if your barefoot.

The confirmation of various posters gave weight to his already sizable yet zealous opinion. So I slipped off my New Balance and strode forth. After a few minutes, my calves feeling recovered, I opted to run. My gait was much shorter and I did note a lack of heel touch. So I relaxed and focused in running very smoothly, this seems to correct the issue. Carefully I would stop and walk a few minutes to avoid re-injury. There was a sense of whimsy, barefoot walking as though I was eight and not forty-eight.

There has been a paradigm shift mentally. Prior to my 10k I would obsess a little on how far and long I was running with a nagging feeling about when to walk. That is apparently gone with the knowing that I can just run for an hour straight without taxing my lungs. I had no qualms about the length time, other then I was still recovering.

How odd to find enjoyment in running, after all this time.