Joke I stole and one I recall.

A guy walks in a bar and starts drinking himself blind. After a bit the bartender ask him "Why so Glum?"
The gent looks up and answers "Today is my wedding anniversary. We got married because her father caught us fooling around. He told me that I could either marry her or go to jail. I chose marriage."

Bartender, "So, it's your anniversary. Thats usually happy. Why so sad?"

Guy, "If I had chosen jail I would be getting out today."

-----one I recalled---
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.

And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think she's coming back......