February 24, 2012
Kicking and screaming.
I ran two miles today. This is my first run since January 7th. I had not problems. It was exhilarating in fact. I feel very 'up' right now due to the various stuff that comes with human Endocrinology. Next up is a trip to the local dump to discard old plants.
I am really enjoying being in shape. Yes, I feel stiff and sore at times. However, the rest of the time the sensations are wonderful. I out perform many of my younger co-workers (or so I am told). This is not at all what I thought 50 would be like. I started my half century mark by climbing the highest mountain in Douglas County. I have continued by running, skating and riding my bike (I should hit 2000 miles on my bike this year).
The science on aging is really interesting. We have learned that our feet work better without shoes, sleep eight hours straight is not normal and that maximum nutrition with minimal calories increases health and life.
As I am enjoying my healthier lifestyle there is still room for improvement. Which takes time but will come. I plan on following my 91 year old pop and go down kicking and screaming.
I am really enjoying being in shape. Yes, I feel stiff and sore at times. However, the rest of the time the sensations are wonderful. I out perform many of my younger co-workers (or so I am told). This is not at all what I thought 50 would be like. I started my half century mark by climbing the highest mountain in Douglas County. I have continued by running, skating and riding my bike (I should hit 2000 miles on my bike this year).
The science on aging is really interesting. We have learned that our feet work better without shoes, sleep eight hours straight is not normal and that maximum nutrition with minimal calories increases health and life.
As I am enjoying my healthier lifestyle there is still room for improvement. Which takes time but will come. I plan on following my 91 year old pop and go down kicking and screaming.
February 17, 2012
Fun with Obama Math!
Want to make unemployment look like it is going down? Just reduce the number of Jobs available!
February 16, 2012
Pallet blocked.
This morning's merchandising job was to simply move the beds (mattresses) from one side of the building to another.
First order of business was to make room. So several pallets of sporting goods got moved around, along with some booze pallets. More still was wrapped up to head back to the depot for next year's winter seasonal items. Got that done. Next up was moving the beds.
Each of the mattresses are on two pallets, side by side, 48" by 80" and they have to be pulled in such a way that they are a 86" wide load. To add to the difficulty, most of the ways are blocked with pallets of merchandise. So I cleared a route along the back of the Deli cases and informed the co-worker in that area of my intent of using that as a thoroughfare for mattresses.
With my mighty pallet jack in tow I bridged the pallets and cranked them up, up, up till they were pull-able. Then using my acquired knowledge of steering ungainly objects, I set off down the Deli express route! Unfortunately, the very co-worker in whom I had confided, decided to drop a pallet of delicious delicateness in my path. She was suitably chagrined and removed the obstacle. With my course now clear, I was able to reach my destination for the first of several trips. With my mighty pallet jack I hefted the next king-size and headed towards the vennel, only to find two pallets of goods. My formerly chagrined co-worker had not noticed them being dropped off and quickly helped rectify the situation. My trusty fork lift driver, Gina, removed the other impediment. I explained to her my intentions of moving mattoks and she affirmed she would keep said alley clear.
The next trip was surprisingly free of clogging and I felt somewhat relieved. Of course the laws of irony had a good guffaw at my next attempt. I turned the corner just in time to see another driver, Nathan, driving off after dropping a load (pun intended). He heeding my cry (girlish screaming anguish), with a quizzical stare. After my exasperated explanation he took it upon himself to not only de-barrier the path, but with annoyed gusto. Next he took the next two pallets with his conveyance to the far side.
This left one final pallet and all the drivers in the area aware of my plight. I was fairly confident until I turned the corner to spy a pallet sitting dead middle of the means of access and Richard, the receiving driver just out of earshot.
I was not sure if I should laugh or cry...
First order of business was to make room. So several pallets of sporting goods got moved around, along with some booze pallets. More still was wrapped up to head back to the depot for next year's winter seasonal items. Got that done. Next up was moving the beds.
Each of the mattresses are on two pallets, side by side, 48" by 80" and they have to be pulled in such a way that they are a 86" wide load. To add to the difficulty, most of the ways are blocked with pallets of merchandise. So I cleared a route along the back of the Deli cases and informed the co-worker in that area of my intent of using that as a thoroughfare for mattresses.
With my mighty pallet jack in tow I bridged the pallets and cranked them up, up, up till they were pull-able. Then using my acquired knowledge of steering ungainly objects, I set off down the Deli express route! Unfortunately, the very co-worker in whom I had confided, decided to drop a pallet of delicious delicateness in my path. She was suitably chagrined and removed the obstacle. With my course now clear, I was able to reach my destination for the first of several trips. With my mighty pallet jack I hefted the next king-size and headed towards the vennel, only to find two pallets of goods. My formerly chagrined co-worker had not noticed them being dropped off and quickly helped rectify the situation. My trusty fork lift driver, Gina, removed the other impediment. I explained to her my intentions of moving mattoks and she affirmed she would keep said alley clear.
The next trip was surprisingly free of clogging and I felt somewhat relieved. Of course the laws of irony had a good guffaw at my next attempt. I turned the corner just in time to see another driver, Nathan, driving off after dropping a load (pun intended). He heeding my cry (girlish screaming anguish), with a quizzical stare. After my exasperated explanation he took it upon himself to not only de-barrier the path, but with annoyed gusto. Next he took the next two pallets with his conveyance to the far side.
This left one final pallet and all the drivers in the area aware of my plight. I was fairly confident until I turned the corner to spy a pallet sitting dead middle of the means of access and Richard, the receiving driver just out of earshot.
I was not sure if I should laugh or cry...
February 11, 2012
Timey Wimey
Back in 1773, Samuel Madden wrote Memoirs of the Twentieth Century. This details life in the late 1990's through legal documents handed to the author via "Guardian Angel". It is, in its way the first backwards time travel story.
Time travel as a plot device, can easily be misused or amazingly effective. The paradoxes and childish "what if" scenarios are very entertaining. Why is this so? I wonder if this plays to humans dislike of change? Or the idea that our choices may not have been good ones.
As I am REALLY happy with my current life, I would not opt at going back in time for fear of changing my current future. Could better futures be out there? by my way of thinking, Not by much. I also think that some of those 'bad choices' that we do not take could be very entertaining, if you could just skip some of the horrid outcomes.
Time travel is a romantic notion that allows us some mental creativeness and zero reality.
Time travel as a plot device, can easily be misused or amazingly effective. The paradoxes and childish "what if" scenarios are very entertaining. Why is this so? I wonder if this plays to humans dislike of change? Or the idea that our choices may not have been good ones.
As I am REALLY happy with my current life, I would not opt at going back in time for fear of changing my current future. Could better futures be out there? by my way of thinking, Not by much. I also think that some of those 'bad choices' that we do not take could be very entertaining, if you could just skip some of the horrid outcomes.
Time travel is a romantic notion that allows us some mental creativeness and zero reality.
February 10, 2012
Tantamount
At the TOPS club meeting, last night, there was a talk about motivation. Since August 2010 I have been riding my bike to work, in rain, snow, fog and sunny weather. I ride approx four times a week which is over 40 miles each week. You would think, with my consistency, people would figure out this is my normal.
February 02, 2012
answers to quotes
Napoleon Dynamite
Yeah right. Who's the only one here who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government?
Die Hard
You ask for a miracle, I give you the FBI
Clerks II
I made fun of "Lord of the Rings" so hard, it made some supergeek puke all over the counter. Where do we keep the mop and bucket so I can make Elias clean it up?
The Emperor's New Groove
Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality.
My Favorite year
Damn you! I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!
Equilibrium
The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Want a twinkie, Genghis Khan?
Adventures in Babysitting
Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Full Metal Jacket
Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong! And his senior drill instructor will beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir!
Zoolander
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
The Matrix
I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.
Drunken Master II
Water floats, but also capsizes boats.
The Replacement Killers
Hostage etiquette: kidnapper pays the incidentals.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Mystery Men
God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
50 first Dates
Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
Happy Gilmore
I'd like to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal."
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