May 30, 2008

Dating in the 21st century.

My observation is that the art of dating is a near lost one. Having been out of the loop (thank the intelligent designer) for 25 years, im sure some of the nuances have gone bye bye.

Dating, simply put is arranging a one on one situation with someone you have an interest. The purpose is to see if there is a reason to arrange a second one on one situation, and to entertain yourself.

Good dates involve mutual interests, dancing, scuba diving, musical performance, exploring new cusine, theater and expositions. (Would you like to get some coffee?)

Bad dates involve hiking, sporting events, movies, dinner with parents. (I know, we can eat at my place, mom is a great cook, I live in the basement)

Often, I am seeing younger people bypassing dating and going into relationship. This generates a lot of drama, angst and depression. This could be a generational issue, that is kids have seen the parents as either a steady couple or a series of drama filled relationships.

Imagine you have the option of going to a hockey game with a hockey fan, seeing a BNL concert with someone who knows the songs, dancing all night etc. Your learning about yourself, about what you can tolerate and what you can't, exploring new idea's and concepts.
Training to be in a relationship.


- Rob said...

I see your point, but have to disagree on your list of "Good" and "Bad" dates. Those may be your list -- but the list will vary from couple to couple.

Take the hiking one for example. James met the love and his life and married her after meeting on a hike.

I have not hit the need to deal with this yet though. None of my kids have dated yet, but I realize that it is just a matter of time.

Defintely agree on the point of having a process to move from strangers to relationship though. It's not an on/off switch!

Tina said...

I think dating is better left for after high school anyway. Hopefully you have a little income, transportation and the ability to be out until midnight or whatever.

By then, a little maturity helps, plus some idea of what you're looking for in a relationship.

I think I'm okay with a hiking date. I would also recommend a movie date with the stipulation that you have some time to discuss the movie after the date - like at Denny's over dessert.

I didn't like the one guy screaming the lyrics in my ear when I went to a concert with him. I didn't like someone taking me to a dance place, and then not wanting to dance (wth?).

I have to say though, I didn't date so much anyway. It was pretty much meet someone, go out a while, quit going out with him because he's an idiot/perv/place-your-adjective-here. Until the last one I dated. :)

flyingvan said...

Why did you STOP dating?? Annamarie and I never did. We still take dates quite seriously. I continue to gain confidence that there will, in fact, be a next date. SOmething hard to explain to people today is, how cool it was to save most things for after we were married. It was the greatest feeling driving home after the honeymoon to actually stay together after it got dark. Big change from before and after the wedding day. The fact that she waited for ME makes her well worth the effort of continuing romantic dates. (OK so I come out ahead there too)

Lee said...

Symantecs Steve.

I sure hope you treat Annamarie better then some of the girls you 'dated'...

She is stiking around so maybe you did.

ronnwaters said...

Hockey, BNL, sounds like you're dating a Canadian.