April 19, 2006

The Dentist Autism Blues.

There is something about watching Connor fight against having the dentist do any work that leaves me with angst that is hard to explain. He had his dentist visit tuesday and because of how he is they needed to sedate him.

They gave him an oral sedative that got him glassy eye'd about 15min later. We were in the 'play room' and he was getting groggy. We moved into the room and they tried to give him a small numbing injection in his mouth. He fought this and dispite the dentist and four helpers Connor arched out and rolled to the side three or four times before I offered to help. Knowing him and having to hold him still for splinters and such came in handy. They had no problem with my aid. I was active in keeping the nitros on his nose and when that didnt work they went with an IV drip.

He pulled the first IV out and the 2nd worked out. So now he was fighting the medication. I have had sodium penathol before and I lasted about 10 seconds. Connor fought for 15min before his eyes got that horrible dead look to them. He has such strength and sheer grit I couldnt help but be proud of him and at the same time I wished there was a way to convey to him that this was all okay and he did not need to fight.

I'm very proud of my little guy. Even with all the trauma later that evening he was able to smile and laugh as though unaffected by the events of the day. I feel like I should apologize for putting him through this, yet I know that I would do it again because its needed. Which makes any apology ring hollow to me. "I'm so sorry that I had them check your teeth, seal them against cavities and take care of two cavity that were already there" What kind of parent would I be if I did not attend to my kids health?

Yet I do feel bad about the situation and I hope somewhere he does understand and realizes that it is out of love and caring.

One of those grown up things, you know what you have to do and if you do not do it your actually letting your kid down by not being the parent they need you to be. Cruel to be kind?


Tina said...

It's difficult when you have to assess everything like this.

We were being "good parents" when we got him vaccinated at age 2. That pushed whatever his genetic tendencies were into autism. Had we left him be, he'd probably be a lot more "normal." But we were being good parents.

We actually have to assess whether it's worth the risk to his LIFE to have his teeth worked on. Worst case scenario *is* death with sedation.

Obviously we decided he needed this done, and we had to trust the dentist. And we prayed. A lot. And checked him all night afterwards, and all the other stuff you do.

If you don't have to do this for your kids, thank God.

- Rob said...

Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. You describe the process and feelings well with your entry.