March 30, 2011

Not so Top Chef .vs.Very Sarcastic Chef


My wife was perusing the recipe website first thing in the morning (who doesn’t?) when she came across the user reviews for gourmet Grilled Cheese and Fried Egg Sandwiches and found this gem. Despite altering the recipe completely one unhappy chef-critic saw fit to give it the dreaded “one fork” rating:

I made this twice, hoping it would be better the second time. I don’t have easy access to pancetta; which may be the problem. The first time the only thing I substituted was Canadian bacon for the pancetta. The sandwiches were extremely bland. The next day, I used applewood smoked bacon, substituted cheddar for the provolone and substituted spinach for the basil. Also poached the eggs instead of frying need to fry them as the poached eggs make a big mess. Anyway, it was better; but still nothing to rave about. I think these are too much work for the outcome. I’m sorry Bon Appetit and fellow reviewers…I’ve never given a recipe one fork before.

Prompting another frustrated chef to whip up a delightfully acerbic response:

What an awful recipe. I substituted some leftover Tofurky for the pancetta. I don’t use butter, so I swapped that out for some Nutella that’s been sitting in the cupboard for about a year. My wife doesn’t like eggs so I used eggplant (same thing basically, right?) and I hate cheese so I opted for some Miracle Whip. The basil or arugula would have been a nice touch, but I’m too lazy to run out to the store so I used some dill pickle chips I had in the fridge. Put it all together in some taco shells (didn’t have any bread, either) and, man, it was disgusting. How do they come up with these recipes, anyway?

I love this person. Easy access to sarcastic misanthropes is what makes the Internet awesome.


Tina said...

Okay - I laughed so hard at the second one, my stomach hurts. Then Trevor had to come in & see what I was laughing about, and he was doubled over too.

Hee hee.


shoo said...

That was a perfect response. What tool that first chef was. Wow.

Lee said...

Shoo, I can see you writing that response.