"perception is reality"- is a favorite quote from an ex-manager I had at Dell. This grated on my nerves every time she touted this as an excuse for one thing or another. First off not dealing with an issue in a straight forward manner is irksome, using a platitude as an excuse (ie: boys will be boys), compounds the frustration and generally makes the quoter an ass.
I digress.
I have an old chum and in HS he would come up with one plan after another for something that we should do. These were always highly flawed from the beginning and pointing out the flaws would lead into an argument. My mutual friend would always just agree to the plan and enthusiastically jump on board. At one point I pulled him aside and asked why he always enthusiastically agreed. His answer was "He only talks about this stuff, he never follows through, so I just agree because I know it is never going to happen, why argue about something that never happens?"
He was right of course, and that answer in itself brings up all sorts of ethical issues around honesty, friendship, lies and enabling. Yet the perception was me being negative and shooting down ideas and my buddy was a "better friend" for being supportive. It is very easy to find fault with idea's, throwing up walls, focusing on minutia. When ego's are involved the results of non-consideration over condemnation can stifle ANY idea, good or bad.
Is real life only our observation?
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